What’s one thing every foreigner does when they’re in America? They pig out, and eat fast food. We will eat everything in sight because we never know when we’ll see these fast food chains again. Spending a semester in America has therefore made me a qualified fast food critic. I will rank each chain from D to S. I’ve seen some Americans do these and if you don’t like my rankings, make your own. I don’t care, I know I’m right.
D:
Dunkin’ Donuts: I’ve tasted Donuts that are miles better in Sweden. They try to be too creative with their different types as well, just give me a damn donut. The coffee, like every coffee in America, is too watered out, and lets not get started with the breakfast that to me tastes like a McDonalds breakfast, but more expensive. Also, how does McDonalds have better coffee than this place?
KFC: Just famous because they’re the most famous chicken fast food chain. South Park was right when Colorado banned KFC, and it should become reality until they learn how to cook; it’s a waste of good chicken. If you choose KFC over the other chicken places on the list you’re either an idiot or from Kentucky.
C:
Panera: Soups and Mac?! Huh?! Salad is alright, but this place just mixes and matches the most unconventional food together. Also, why is the food so overpriced? I know there aren’t a lot of places in America that serve salads, but come on people 9,19 dollars for a caesar salad? I ain’t having none of that.
Burger King: More commonly known as the third, if not the fourth, best fast food burger chain in Sweden. However, it’s even worse in America. Service is too slow, and the employees don’t seem to want to talk to you. The nuggets are sub-par as well, and I would never sit and eat there.
B:
Pizza Hut: A general problem with American pizza is that the crust is ridiculously thick at times. However, at this fine establishment you can go buffet style and mix it up a bit. What also speaks to PH’s advantage is that the staff has always been polite to me when I’ve been there, whether it’s Sweden or The US.
Subway: Service is good 75% of the time, and when they don’t completely squish my bread it’s a good meal. This happens too often though for it to be an A. I usually don’t order from the menu so getting to eat my own creation makes it feel better. I don’t care what you think, their cookies are banging!
McDonalds: I know McDonalds is America’s holiest place, and that may be the case, but the service there is terrible. In Sweden they at least pick up the pace, but I always had to wait at least 10-15 minutes for my food. How they going to treat a loyal customer like that? It’s almost like the American servers didn’t know the size of my contribution to their place of work in Sweden.
Taco Bell: This doesn’t need a long explanation. Could be an S, could be an F. It really depends on what day it is and how your stomach is treating you.
A:
Five Guys: Now this chain mixes gold with dirt, but after going to class with an employee, he told me the standard go to order. The burgers might look greasy as hell, but I choose to embrace the grease. Would never sit down to eat there though, always hot as hell in that place.
Chipotle: Had nothing of the kind before. Quick, effective service. The bowls are massive though (typically American) and the guacamole can sometimes look a little off. Everything else about the place is very A, nothing really stands out to me, and I had only heard of it because it seemed like a stereotype for white girls to eat there.
S-:
Buffalo Wild Wings: First place Cody took me to in America, that’s why it holds special sentimental value also. All sane people always order the wings, anything else is disgraceful. The waitresses/waiters are always classy, and don’t get me started on the wings and the variety in which they come. The Sweet BBQ and Teriyaki are awesome because I’m a wimp that doesn’t like strong food. Please come to Sweden!
Steak ‘n’ Shake: Burgers are a A, but the shakes are S-. Also holds a lot of sentimental value from hanging out with the boys at Purdue. The late night drives and ordering the awesome shakes will always be remembered. Interestingly enough, I never went inside, but the drive through employees were pleasant.
S:
Chick-fil-A: The owners are super Christian, I know. They’re closed on Sundays. They’ve been involved in a bit of controversy. BUT! Have you tasted their food? The type of happiness I strive for in life is the same happiness I felt the first time at this lovely establishment. Never have I been treated so well and the “My pleasure” gives me a similar feeling to a priest blessing my food. Whatever you order it tastes great, and don’t get me started on the fries. The shakes are amazing as well. Yet again, please come to Sweden. We need you!
Across The Pond 